(via youandmearechanging)
Bircea’s Manifesto
If I could see you, just one more time.
Why I would be free, I could be fine.
The rain does come down,
Ferocious and wild.
Banging the heart of this forgotten child.
And the memories come flooding back, like bugs in the rain.
Pulling me with them, into a different place.
Remember that time when we danced in the rain? With the football game’s lights hitting our backs, expanding our shadows out into the street.
The cars swooshed past us, spitting out steam; so that all I could see was you, and all you could see was me.
I’ll never forget your big, brown eyes staring back at me. I wanted to kiss you. Your lips looked so red. I wanted to wrap my arms around your waist and push your forehead against mine. Your scent inched me closer, almost to the edge. I was a sucker for strawberry perfume.
I remember when I was little, my mom would put it on all the time. Strawberry perfume I mean. Hey, isn’t that strange? That my mother’s favorite scent led me to you?
I wanted to kiss you. But my ancient fears from a life I’d thought I’d left behind, sprouted out from my heart and tied me to the ground.
Those kids who made fun of me from years ago, stood behind you with hungry eyes. They chanted, “weirdo! Devil! Freak!”. They made me feel like 8 year old me.
And so the serene scene that you and I had sustained wilted and died. And in its place was my old balcony. The flower pots were smashed and crumbled papers littered the floor. And there was eight year old me, tiptoeing atop the balcony, ready to plunge into the ground.
In my fear I lost sight of you. And the moment in the rain passed. So that I stood alone, on an empty field, with bits of bug crushed beneath my feet.



